As you all know, In about a month or so Chelsea will be making her BIG move from small town life to the big city life in Philly, Pennsylvania. This is a major step for her and if you've kept up with her posts, you know that although she's excited she's also kind of sad to be leaving her family and friends behind. . . not to mention her love, Derek.
So, as an encouragement to her and to any of you who find yourselves in a similar position, I'd like to share just the teeniest peek into my long distance love story, starring me and my love, Jon and share some advice on how YOU can keep your long distance relationships running strong!
We met on Myspace (Gasp!) Oh yes indeedy, we did.
He lived in California and I lived in New York City.
I won't go into details, but I will say that his photogenic looks may have had something to do with me developing that initial crush. Yet, that wasn't ALL that attracted me: we conveniently shared the same beliefs, we were both getting over major break ups, and we were both looking to re-establish ourselves in life. I learned these things by reading a few of his blog posts on his profile.
(Sidenote: He expressed himself so well through writing! **ding ding ding!!** Such a major plus in my eyes!)
We met in person and fell in love. . . or, in my case, I fell in love then we met in person. Either way, we both eventually fell in love. (Good thing, or else I would've been alone on that one!)
Almost 2 years later we were married.
Now that I've ruined the ending, I'll give you the scoop on a few of the ups and downs of long distance relationships. Neither of us moved to live closer to the other until we were married. So, we endured 20 months of what felt like heart-wrenching separation. Of course, there were visits here and there, but with every visit it became harder and harder to leave him behind, and vice-versa. It's just not fun to live thousands of miles away from the one you love!
How did we endure? Here are 3 things that kept our bond strong:
*First off, we made the decision to stay together.
Sounds pretty elementary, but it's SO important to have a foundation of trust. I knew in my heart that he was mine and he knew I was his. No questions asked. That meant I never ever had to worry about him cheating on me and he never had to worry about me cheating on him. We both took the relationship seriously and valued it like no other boyfriend/girlfriend relationship we'd had before.
*Secondly, we communicated daily.
People would ask me, "So, how often do you get to talk to your boyfriend?" My answer: "Every single day! (duh!)" . . . Okay, so I didn't say "duh" but I always felt like saying it. I understand that not every long distance relationship is made up of daily phone calls. For instance, those who are in the service don't have the luxury of picking up a cell phone and calling their significant other on a daily basis. Yet, for us, this was possible and we used that to our advantage. Being the word-lover that I am, I also took major advantage of emailing and messaging and texting and anything that had to do with expressing myself through words.
*Lastly, we got creative!
Funny enough, we weren't big fans of Skyping. We did use it a few times but those times were rare. I found it frustrating, more than anything, to see his face on the screen and not be able to touch him. So, when I use the word creative, I don't mean the skyping kind of creative. I mean the thinking outside the box type of creative.
One of the things we did was watch movies together. We'd both sign onto our Netflix account, choose a movie together, and literally press play at the exact same time: "Ready, babe? Set..... okay, play!" It was cute and meaningful and fun.
There was also about a 2 month long period where I recorded a daily video diary and emailed it to him so he'd have something to watch during his work break. He really appreciated that and it gave him something to look forward to every day.
There's also snail mail! When you're in a long distance relationship it's important to take the time to send your love a little somethin' special every now and then, via snail mail. These days snail mail is considered uncool but I'm a major fan of it still! Taking the time to head over to your local mail box or post office shows that you truly care. Besides, I have yet to meet a person who doesn't get at least a little excited when they receive something special in the mail.
The bottom line is this:
Long distance relationships will be difficult at times. There will be tears and there will be days when you feel frustrated with the way things are, BUT you can only survive a long distance relationship if you're willing to set those negative feelings aside and choose to put in some work!
If your boyfriend/girlfriend means the world to you, then you'll find yourself doing all you can to keep your bond strong despite the miles that separate you.
And hey, your story may just end in marriage and unity ever after!
{You're more than welcome to check out a way more detailed version of our long distance love story in my neck of the woods anytime at This Road Called Vida. }
